Sex. Yes. Even in 2017, people still lose their mind when a woman talks about sex. Fortunately, I do not care about the ridiculous standards which society measures women with. I think that people blow sex up. After I lost my virginity, I thought, “Was this it? Is this what everyone is making a big deal out of?” Don’t get me wrong. Sex is an important part of life, which should be valued more. As with everything in life, there are also rules for sex. But just like with everything in life, the youth doesn’t care about rules.

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Illustration by @daeizm

The ways in which people view sex these days are very double. On the one hand, we are as free as we can be. Everywhere you look, you see naked women. In movies, in video clips, even in advertisements. On the other hand, people still react very judgmentally to the appearance of a naked woman. If there is a naked woman on a billboard, it’s art. If a woman is naked on Instagram, she’s a slut. Of course, as with many things in this day and age, there is no logic behind it at all.

As I said, there are rules. Unwritten rules that nobody seems to care about. In my opinion, these are the most important rules when it comes to sex.

  1.  There is clarity about the relationship you have with the one you have sex with

This is one of the most important rules. Why is this so important? Simple. So you don’t ever play yourself. If you know that the one in question only wants to have sex with you, you do not have to expect anything else of them. If you do not agree with that, it’s better not to have sex with them. This applies to both men and women. It often happens that people decide to have casual sex. No strings attached. Why do we do that? Because we are afraid of love and we’re being turned on all day by all the nudity around us. Casual sex almost never works as well as agreed. For example, there are girls who want more after the sex and ultimately expect the man to behave as if they are in a relationship. This results in the man’s terrible annoyance, while the girl only gets sad. Another scenario is that after sex, the man decides that the girl is now his and expects her to behave that way. In both cases, it does not end well. Therefore, it’s so important that you’re clear about your intentions and you do not manipulate people into have sex with you. By the way, it is also very pathetic if you need to do that.

 2. You use protection

Sigh. How many people do you know who actually do this? People that are really strapped with a condom and are prepared at all times. I don’t know too many. Maybe a handful. The youth does not seem to care about using protection. Everything in this generation is focused on living in the moment. That’s what we always do. We live in the moment. In the moment you’re horny, drunk, or just stupid and decide not to use a condom. Therefore, we have a generation of people who have children together but aren’t together. I can not tell you how often I hear: “I did not cum inside her” or “he didn’t cum inside of me.”  In 2017, people are still saying that. Let it be clear for once and for all. Someone can get pregnant from the pure fact that someone has been inside of her her. It does not matter how long the session lasted and it does not matter if the man came into her or not. This is not a guarantee that she will not get pregnant and this is absolutely no guarantee that you won’t get an STD. Don’t be stupid, kids. Use protection.

 3. You’re discrete about the person you had sex with

This rule has been completely forgotten. It seems normal to me, that you respect someone elses privacy. At least, that’s what I do. Of course, you can tell your friends about an experience. That’s normal. What’s not normal, however, is how easy people put someone else to shame. How many boys do we have in this generation who get their value and self-assurance from girls with whom they have had sex? Pathetic, little boys who tell everyone that wants to hear who they had sex with. Why do you do that? Why do you secretly film a girl and send it to your friends on Snapchat? A girl gives you the most beautiful thing. Her vagina. What you ultimately use for the appreciation of other boys. Do not you see how strange that is? Slutshaming, kiss and tell, exposing girls on social media. It’s the most pathetic thing to do. Gucci said: ” Exposing is a form of snitching. ” Don’t forget, boys.

 

  1. No means no

This is the most important rule to me. Many people do not seem to understand this. I don’t want to generalize, but these are mostly men. If a girl says no, it’s no. You do not have to ask her why. You do not have to explain to her how much you want it. What you especially shouldn’t do, is beg. I hate beggers. So many boys do this. They go on and on until the girl finally says yes, just to shut him up. Even the sweetest boys do this because they do not understand that 5 times no and 1 time yes, still means no. If you need to convince a girl to do something, you’re wrong. It means she doesn’t want to and you’re trying to manipulate her into doing it. You have to be aware of that. Think of your pride. You don’t want her to want you as much as you want her? It does not matter if she came to your house or if she promised you on text that she would. It’s her body and she has the right to change her mind. She doesn’t owe you anything. At the very first no, you have to leave it. Respect her and respect yourself.

On the other hand, ladies, if you say “no”, stick to that. Do not give in because he begged for it or because you think you owe him somehow. That’s how you end up regretting things, and you will have to deal with that yourself. He won’t be there, because if he was a real one, he wouldn’t have had to ask you twice. Do what you want to do and nothing else.

And so, there are more rules that nobody follows. However, iI will go deeper into this in my book, ‘The Last Generation’. What I’m trying to say is, treat each other with respect. Respect the privacy of the person you share the bed with. Respect the wishes of each other. Use a condom. The most important thing, however, is, especially for the ladies, enjoy what you want to do. Do not worry about what other people will think of you, because that will not make the sex any better or worse. Do you. Safely.

S.S.H.

 

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