Drunk thoughts, I just let go and I write.
To get rid of all my anger, all of my spite.
Of course I hide it all behind my smile,
I’ve been doing that for years,
been running this path for miles.
The more you hide it,
the more it fades away,
Maybe it’ll come back for me some day,
But right now I just want to stay,
Right here in this happy place.
So as I sit on the ferry,
I watch my view shrink, |
The further away it takes me,
The less I think.
My secrets eat me up from the inside,
I can’t even find my feelings because all I do is hide.
My paranoia follows me as a ghost, always felt yet never seen.
Way more terrifying than these ghosts on Halloween.
But I was built to live this way,
My mind is as secret as a government database.
He’s the only one I ever exposed myself to,
The most, of course not all the way through.
My all, I’ll never give to anyone.
The real me would burn them like a ray of the sun.
The real me is evil, manipulative and selfish.
Sometimes she pops up and my actions are careless.
The more I act like I do, the more I care less.
I never show tho, put me in Abnegation, for I am always selfless.
You have to treat people right,
Even if you don’t care.
With others is not my fight,
Fighting them wouldn’t be fair.
I am always only mad at me,
For not being where I need to be,
For all the good that I always see,
For sometimes being too naïve.
But I had to become this person,
Or the pain would’ve killed me.
In life I have learned many lessons,
But the most important one is that you can decide how you think, even if you cannot decide what you see.
I was always very aware of my responsibility, I always knew I was in control.
That’s why I had to change all of me,
All that remained the same,
Was my fragile soul.